A: I missed the TV news last night. What was on?

B: Nothing that would pass as news.

A: What's the weather going to be like this weekend?

B: I don't know. Whenever the weather comes on, I switch channels.

A: What was the lead story on the news?

B: Some actress was in court for driving without a license.

A: What was the second story?

B: Some actor married a woman young enough to be his daughter.

A: What was the third story?

B: A bull chased a man in a supermarket.

A: Wasn't there anything about Octo-Mom?

B: Of course. She's going to hire a nanny for her eight infants.